2005-06-14 - 4:48 p.m.

From an email forward via one of my savannah attorneys:

Corporate Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs
downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob
says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel,"

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel
and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and
leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband
asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door
neighbor," she replies.

"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about
the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 2:

A man offered a lift to a beautiful woman.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to
reveal a leg.

The man nearly had an accident. After controlling
the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The apparently-religious woman said, "Remember Psalm 129?"

The man removed his hand.

But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg
again.

The woman once again said, "Remember Psalm 129?"

The man apologized "Sorry but the flesh is
weak."

Arriving at her stop, the woman went on her way.

The man was desperate to find a bible and headed off to a nearby church. On his arrival at the church, the man rushed to

look up Psalm 129.

It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find
glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in
your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager
are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil
lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk.

"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be
in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal
masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the
love of my life." Poof! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office
after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the
first say.

Corporate Lesson 4:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and
rested.

A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be sitting very high up.

Corporate Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to Get to the top of that
tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied
the bull.

"They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it
gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of
the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached
the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly
perched at the top of the tree.

Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey
out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top,
but it won't keep you there.

ulterior motives - fortune telling